Never Letting Go
by JirachiScratchz
Summary: (For May the Fifth 2018) A week went by, and he was starting to get worried. A month went by, and he was starting to go mad. Six months went by, and he still called every day. It took a year for him to admit to himself that it was pointless. don't read this its trash


_A week went by, and he was starting to get worried._

 _A month went by, and he was starting to go mad._

 _Six months went by, and he still called every day._

 _It took a year for him to admit to himself that it was pointless._

The Go Institute hadn't changed much. He thought after almost three years, someone would have at least had the common sense to replace the god-awful carpet in the lobby, or something, but it looked just like he'd left it.

The people in the lobby froze when they saw him, and their faces looked like they'd just seen a ghost- understandable. The building might not have changed much, but he sure had. He waved at a group of particularly shocked-looking men standing near an elevator, flashing them a cheeky grin to boot. He'd forgotten how much he liked giving people that look on their face.

He wandered about- he'd have to go and explain himself at some point, but he'd rather put that off for as long as possible. Coming back after two months had been hell, he could barely imagine what they'd say now… (Maybe he was actually legally dead by now. That'd be ironic.)

Wow, this really was… creepy. Same old ugly carpets, same old squeaky stairs, same old drama closet. (Good ol' drama closet.) He wondered who was around- maybe he'd run into some of his old friends. There was little chance he was allowed to call them friends anymore, after cutting off contact for so long, but at least he could probably still hold his own against them on a go board.

He stopped in front of one of the game rooms, looking in from down the hall. It was deserted- of course it was, everyone'd be having lunch by now… maybe he should pop into the break room. Give some people a shock.

Hikaru made his way to the break room he'd always hung out in. He saw a few more people on the way, but no one he knew- hopefully no one'd left while he was gone. That'd be awful…

His mind wandered back to the last time Touya'd tried to contact him, almost two years ago. Two whole years…

The break room wasn't too crowded, but there was a fair amount of people hanging out, just like always. He walked in without saying anything, looking at the people at the tables to see if there was anyone he recognized. A few people's jaws dropped, which would have been amusing had he not been… distracted.

Touya had his nose in a book, of course. (He'd kept up that habit of skipping lunch on game days, it seemed…) He hadn't noticed Shindou enter, until someone sitting next to him tapped his hand, and he looked up.

He looked older, of course, but Hikaru could hardly tell the difference. Their eyes met for the first time in ages.

Touya stood up fast as lightning, knocking his chair over in the process, staring dumbfoundedly at Hikaru.

"Hey." He waved at his rival, trying to smile. "Long time no see, huh, Touya?"

He'd hoped Akira would be happy to see him.

He'd been expecting him to be angry, and to be lucky to make it out with only one black eye.

What he'd never seen coming was for Touya to run over, practically _fling_ himself over his rival in a tight hug, and start sobbing out of nowhere.

Hm.

"Woah- hey-" He stumbled back a step or two. "Aw, I- I missed you too…"

Everyone else seemed to be standing up and leaving, as if to let them have their moment, and Hikaru wasn't sure whether to be relieved or feel abandoned.

"Touya… hey, c'mon… don't, you're gonna make _me_ cry…" He finally returned the hug, blinking back a few tears of his own. There was no response, just the sound of muffled sobs. "Listen, I- I'm really sorry…"

"Where _were_ you?" Akira cut him off. "Why do you keep _doing this_?"

Hikaru was silent for a few moments. He knew his disappearances affected more than just him, that whenever he vanished to god knows where, it hurt the people around him, but he'd never imagined it being this bad…

"Everyone was trying to get in touch with you."

First it was two months, that awful grieving period. Touya'd been furious at him for leaving, and never forgave him. Then it was nine months, after that absolute fiasco with the Netgo hack. He'd left his phone number, in an attempt to keep his friends reassured he wasn't dead, but it just turned out making everything worse. And then…

"I thought you might be _dead_."

"…I'm so sorry." He said again, voice barely above a whisper.

They stood there like that for what felt like ages. Touya ran out of tears somewhere along the way, and Hikaru unwillingly shed a few of his own.

After an eternity, Hikaru tried to free himself, so he could properly look Touya in the eyes, but the other boy wasn't having it, holding on tighter. "Touya- Touya, let go, I-"

" _No_." The response was instant, and oddly forceful.

"Wha- what do you mean, no?"

"You're- You're just going to run off again, like you always do." His voice was shaking, like he'd break down again if he had the energy. "And one of these days, you won't come back. I'm going to let go and _never see you again_."

"Touya…" Hikaru couldn't bring himself to respond. He didn't know what to think- all this time, he'd been expecting Touya to be mad at him for leaving without telling him, which he could easily explain away this time or for leaving Go for so long, which he most certainly did not do; not to be afraid that he'd disappear. And yet it made sense, in a strange way. He'd promised Touya he'd be his 'eternal rival', in no uncertain terms. Hikaru could think of only one person who'd ever known him better, and there was only one person who he could think of as knowing Touya better than he did.

But not only that- a small voice in his head was telling him that maybe Akira was right, that maybe he'd never be able to stay in one place. That no matter what he did with himself, he was destined to abandon everything in the end, every friendship, every rivalry, everything he'd worked towards.

He didn't like listening to that voice.

 _He didn't want it to be right._

"…Touya, listen to me." He managed to pull himself out of Akira's arms, holding the other boy by the shoulders. Touya got a good look at him for the first time since he'd entered the room- his eyes went wide, and he slowly lifted a hand up to Hikaru's face, tracing one finger over the scar that ran down the side. His face was full of questions, but he stayed quiet.

"I promise you, I'm never going to do this again." He looked his rival right in the eyes. "I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I never have to. Okay?" Akira was quiet for a moment, then tentatively nodded.

"Listen, I just got back, I'm real tired… how's about we go back to my apartment after your game, alright? I'll make some ramen, we can do some catching up…" He paused for a second or two before adding the last part onto the sentence. "…and I'm gonna tell you the whole story."

Akira's eyes widened a bit more. "…you don't have to." His tone was quiet, meek, and defeated. "I- I'm sure it's-"

"You deserve to know, Touya." Hikaru shook his head. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. It's only right that you know everything."

"…" Akira hugged him again, gentler than the first time. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Yeah… and thanks to you, too."

"For what?"

"For never letting go."


End file.
